No tears for 1957 ‘classmate’ bin Laden

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

Honesty is good. I’m honestly smiling today because Osama bin Laden ended up as shark food. I’m also relieved, because I’ve had a weird, creepy affinity with the revolting terrorist. We were both born in 1957. That’s a classmate to … Read More

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Free fried chicken drove some Utahns to polls

Posted on April 7, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

A Utah State University researcher found that food is a greater motivator than democracy when it comes to getting people to vote. As reported by The Atlantic, Damon M. Cann went to doorsteps urging people to go vote, for all … Read More

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Black Hole Award for Utah’s dark age of government secrecy

Posted on March 15, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

It was a well-planned and swiftly executed mob hit. But just enough light remained at the scene of the crime to illuminate the perpetrators of House Bill 477, an instrument that leaves Utah’s Government Records Access and Management Act dead … Read More

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Utah Eagle Forum now conserving on cloth

Posted on February 22, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

Oh, my. Utah Eagle Forum interns showing cleavage and thigh. I try to keep up on operations of the Utah Eagle Forum, which in some ways runs the Utah Legislature, and therefore to a degree, all Utahns’ lives. But I … Read More

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Nunchucks owners unite!

Posted on February 18, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

The ninja community should be up in arms. The Utah Legislature has been busy passing measures this year designating a state gun and even protecting knife owners from local prosecution. Rep. Curt Oda of Clearfield alone has an armory’s worth … Read More

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Heroes and villains of Utah’s “red air” crisis

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

The Wasatch Front has the most polluted air in the country. Some members of Congress are working hard to make it even worse. What, do they want to kill us with brown air to save us from that horrible government … Read More

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Distracted walking? There’s a law for that

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

The earphone cops are coming. Legislators in New York and Arkansas are fiddling with proposals to penalize distracted pedestrians. Specifically targeted are people texting while walking or those jogging with headphones. The crackdown on pedestrians follows a surge of legislation … Read More

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Gun-control bills probably dead on arrival

Posted on January 21, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

Gun-control advocates are pushing a bill in Congress to ban high-capacity ammo magazines, but it seems obvious the legislation won’t get anywhere anytime soon. President Obama and many congressional Democrats are wary of inciting the National Rifle Association lobby heading … Read More

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Uncle Sam saves a little Utah flower

Posted on January 19, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

Federal agencies are trumpeting their 25-year successful program to bring back a Utah desert flower from the brink of extinction. The Maguire daisy has been removed from the government’s endangered species list. Protection began in 1985 after the flower’s survival … Read More

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Why we will keep right on arming the mentally ill

Posted on January 11, 2011 by Mark Shenefelt

It’s past time for us to do something to get guns out of the hands of crazy people. But it won’t happen, because we’re collectively bat-guano nuts ourselves. I’ll just say it: The Arizona shooter (I’m not going to use … Read More

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