The Onion had a telling bit of Satire a week or so ago showing Mitt Romney going nuts trying to figure out (click) how his economic plans would work if he actually won.
They can’t, of course. Not possible, mathematically. But, what the heck, it’s a slow news day, so, let’s play a game: Mitt Romney wins the election. What happens next?
– He tries to repeal “Obamacare,” and discovers very quickly that seniors will lynch him by his intestines if he brings back the prescription medication donut hole, parents with kids in college will lynch him if he forces their under-26 years old kids off insurance and newspapers threaten to fill their dwindling editions with heart-rending sob stories of children dying from birth defects if he does away with the “no preexisting conditions” and “no lifetime cap” rules.
So he does away with the only part he can get rid of, which is the requirement that everyone get insurance and pay into the system, which means the only people buying insurance are the sick who need it and expect their soaring medical bills to be paid no matter how little they pay in premiums.
National insurance rates soar, anger over dying children soars, and seniors throw their walkers at his limo.
– He pushes through legislation, as promised, to cut marginal income tax rates by 20 percent. Unfortunately, his efforts to tie those cuts to reducing tax breaks for home ownership, charities, medical costs or anything else, bring massive fillibusters from lawmakers who get campaign donations from home builders, charities, medical companies and anything else — which is to say, all of them — so his off-setting cost cutting ends up on the cutting room floor.
Budget deficits soar.
– He “gets tough” with China. His rhetoic upsets an already shaky Chinese economy still trying to recover from a housing bubble’s deflation. China, desperate for cash, cashes in its US Treasury bonds, causing the world market in those to crash as well. The US Government, suddenly unable to borrow money at rates so low that, sometimes, it actually made money instead of paying interest, suddenly can’t sell a bond to save its life.
The world economy crashes, Social Security checks start to bounce, Romney calls his hedge fund friends for advice and is told that he should have done like he did with all his other corporate takeovers and sold sooner.
– The “peaceful” Mitt of the third presidential debate goes away, replaced by the “get tough” Mitt of the primaries. He drops a bomb on Iran’s nuclear facility, then tells Iran that that was just a surgical strike, nothing serious, really they should just sit back and be peaceful and do what we say from now on.
Iran, knowing an act of war when it sees one, closes off the Straits of Hormuz with its fleet of small boats and manages to land a flight of cruise missiles in the middle of Saudi Arabia’s largest oil export port, disabling the machinery for six months. Gasoline prices in the US hit $10 overnight.
OK, fun and games with worst-case scenarios.
The reality is, Mitt’s efforts will end up being filibustered in the Senate, same as Obama’s were. We’ll stagger from one crisis to the next, same as we always do. Nobody will have the stones either to cut a program that saves a significant amount of money — ATK Space Systems anyone? — and nobody will dare raise a tax because, well, of course not.
Mitt will blame it all on the liberals and in four years President Obama, called by popular acclaim out of retirement, takes over for a delayed second term.