Comments on: In our LDS ward, we have become the ‘in-betweeners!’

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:55:36 +0000

I was made a High Priest when I was 30. I too felt “in-between” for a few years. However, I had a great mentor and friend who pointed out to me something that I feel is true for almost all who feel that way. Being an “in-betweener” is most often self imposed.

I used to think that I was too young or too old for something or some group and because I thought that way, I was. When I stopped that way of thinking and make an effort to include myself with other, the “in-between” thing went away.

By: laytonian

laytonian — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:34:17 +0000

Paul Gardener writes—”The thinkg we’ve noticed here in Utah is that the church, for all it’s benefits, tends to make neighborhoods lazy. Not in the too lazy to keep your yard up kind of way, but rather in the get out and meet people kind of way.”

Absolutely! The divide is amazing. Our LDS neighbors don’t even talk to the rest of us, to the point that one of them was absolutely shocked (six years later!) to find out that our daughter had undergone a kidney transplant.

Yet….we are consistently visited by LDS members wanting our donations for an LDS family, for a food drive, for a ward event…and if we ask for specifics, we’re told “the bishop said so on Sunday”.

The most interesting was a request to lobby Weber Basin to turn a piece of land behind our home into a park “for the kids in the ward to play in” (which would have necessitated the “kids in the ward” walking through our yard). Or the flyers (illegally) inserted into our mailbox, inviting us to events “at the wardhouse”. As if we know where that is.

Talking to your neighbors WITHOUT bringing up religion, would go a long way to smoothing things out. We’re expected to know all about what our LDS neighbors are doing, but no one cares about the rest of us.

By: GORGOROTH

GORGOROTH — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:34:29 +0000

Doug,
How did your editor let you publish this? This was the most inane, pointless peice of drivel in the known universe. Can I write a column about my age and kids and how it affects my bowling league/ Good God,man, are you self-involved

By: Steve Stones

Steve Stones — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:09:00 +0000

It’s not uncommon for men to wait until later in life to get married and have children. In fact, it is becoming more and more common in today’s day and age. I think couples getting married today more critically think about whether or not to have children because of the state of our economy and the economic burdens children can bring to a newly started family. I also think the choice to never get married is becoming more widely accepted in our society. You have nothing to apologize for Doug.

By: Paul Gardener

Paul Gardener — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:07:42 +0000

My wife and I often feel like we’re in completely the inverse position. We’re too young for those around us. I’m 38 and my wife 34, yet our three boys are 12,13,14. (Yes, it was a busy few years there.) The point I make is that most of the neighbors we have and those in our peer group age-wise, had their first kids around 30 and now have, for instance, 5, 6, 7 or 8 year olds. Our kids have no-one to hang out with their age in our neighborhood, and we feel like we’re in a totally different place than everyone as well.

The thinkg we’ve noticed here in Utah is that the church, for all it’s benefits, tends to make neighborhoods lazy. Not in the too lazy to keep your yard up kind of way, but rather in the get out and meet people kind of way. Because of the built in “clusters” or social groups that come with membership and regular meetings, I think many have lost the ability to just walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation.
I’d suggest a hobby or activity that get’s you and the wife out of the house to meet people that perhaps aren’t in your neighborhood, but are in your interest group. My wife and I took a Master Gardeners course this year an it was great for meeting people. It just takes a bit of commitment.
Best of luck, and very nice post.
Paul~

By: rick stewart

rick stewart — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:04:14 +0000

doug … i recommend a calling in primary, best calling in the whole church / now all you need is for your bishop to recommend the same thing …